Mao's Milkshake and Sophie's Choice (for now)

I don't know what they put in the milkshakes at McDonald's in China, but it's laid waste to my gut ... while Miss Sophia is doing her best to break my heart.  Right now the going is tough in Harbin.


Tuesday while Sophia napped I took a long walk through downtown Harbin.  I left our hotel and walk down to the frozen Songhua River.  The ice festival will be getting underway next month, but the festivities on the river are already in high gear.  I walked halfway across the river and then turned and walked back.  I then followed Zhongyang Street, a pedestrian mall, from beginning to end - about a mile and a half.  It was a blustery cold day as most are here in Harbin.  Artisans were working on ice sculptures in the street.  

Large blocks of ice - approximately 3' by 3' by 4' - are put into place with forklifts then the positions are finely adjusted by hand.  The gaps are then filled with water which quickly freezes securing the structure in place.  Then the sculptures begin meticulously shaving away the block until a new form emerges.  It is really quite a fascinating process and it all takes place in temperatures that rarely rise above the teens.

I had intended to stop somewhere along the way and check out a Russian restaurant I had heard good things about.  I reached the end of Zhongyang Street and having not seen the restaurant turned back expecting to find it on my return.  No dice, so I chose the next best thing - McDonald's.  There is a McDonald's less than a block from our hotel, and I was cold and hungry so in I went.  The menu is entirely in Chinese - shocking, I know!  I got a Double Cheeseburger, Fries and a Coke Zero to go.  When I got back to our room I found that the Double Cheeseburger I had intended to order turned out to be just a Cheeseburger.  No big deal and probably better for my waist line, still it aggravated me that I was unable to communicate something even as simple as that.  So, yesterday I decided to try it again.


This time I employed a brilliant strategy of consulting the McDonald's Chinese website: http://www.mcdonalds.com.cn/ .  I looked up what I wanted and then took pictures of the item to be sure that there would be no mistake.  I proudly marched up to the counter, and producing my iPhone announced that I wanted:


Zhe ge-

Zhe ge -

and Zhe ge -

and as a little celebration of my ingenuity, I though I'd have Zhe ge, too -

.

I paid 30 yuan (about 5 dollars), took my food and returned to the hotel.  Wendy was mildly amused that my little plan had worked.  She suggested that I was single handedly setting back China's opinion of America to pre-Nixonian levels.  I reveled in my victory, small though it may be. 

When I got to the vanilla shake I discovered that there was some sort of fruit in the bottom of the cup.  Now, had I known this was not just a run of the mill McDonald's vanilla shake I probably would have passed.  However, I have been making a concerted effort on this trip to try new things.  A little fruity surprise in the bottom of my milkshake does not exactly make me a renaissance man, but I pressed on with the certainty that it would make me a better man.  

I asked Wendy if she'd like to try it, and she said no.  She didn't want to eat any dairy products.  Not a surprise from my lactose intolerant wife.  She did take just a small sip to try to help me identify the mystery fruit, but that was all.  

I finished my feast, and we put Sophia down for a nap.  The plan was for Wendy to go to lunch with Wai Po and Yi Po while Sophia slept.  Sophia had other plans.  She refused to go to sleep.  Finally, I laid down and distracted her so Wendy could slip out.  Eventually she realized Mama was gone and then the fun began.  

A 5 alarm meltdown.  Screaming.  Sobbing.  Heavy streams of snot.  The full treatment.  I turned on some children's music and proceeded to dance her about the room until she eventually fell asleep in my arms.  Jackpot!  Dad of the year!  Now to just lay her down on the bed and... as soon as laid her down she woke up, and this time she kicked up the tantrum a notch.

I scooped her back up and began dancing routine again.  This time it took longer, but I was able to get her to sleep again.  I decided to continue rocking her a while longer to be sure she was deeply asleep this time before I laid her down again.  That's when the phone rang.  From then on she was inconsolable.  

When Wendy finally returned my arms were like rubber bands from holding our daughter for an hour and a half.  My back ached from the pacing and dancing, and my nerves were just on the cusp of being frazzled.  Not only that, but I was just beginning to feel a bit of a rumbly sensation in my gut.  

Sophia quieted immediately when she saw Mama.  I was in the middle of describing our ordeal when I was gripped with a fierce sensation demanding my immediate attention.  

I'll skip about an hour's worth of agony and pick up the tale where Wendy came into the bathroom to find me lying naked on the cold marble floor in a pool of sweat and agony begging her to open the window to let in some air.  I have never had an experience so miserable.  It felt as if something were trying to rip me apart from the inside.  Wendy thought I might die - I hoped I would.  

The rest of the night I wore a path between the bed and the bathroom.  It is about 27 hours later now and I am still cramping quite a bit.  Tomorrow we fly from Harbin to Guangzhou - a 4 and a half hour flight.  I am certainly hoping the antibiotics I am taking have done their job by then.  

Of course, my stomach is likely to like me again before my daughter.  Sophia doesn't want much to do with me now.  It sucks to want so badly to hold her only to see her cry when I try to pick her up or touch her.  I know this is only temporary, and I even expected it.  It still sucks that for now she has made her choice, and it's decidedly not me. 

However, when you look at these pictures Wendy took today, it's not hard to see the reason for her choice.

This morning after breakfast, Wai Po and Yi Po tried to get Sophia to smile while Wendy was taking pictures. Little did they know, Wendy was photographing all three of them. Sophia kept turning around to see who was grabbing her legs. 

Wai Po doing PT with Sophia before lunch today.

     

Sophia working on her leg lifts.

Thank you JoJo (uncle in Chinese) for the cool iPad!